Yesterday I cried.
I cried because my best friend refused to allow me a bottle of Mountain Dew and chucked away my cigarettes. I reacted like a child, stomping my feet and allowing the tears to fall.
All because my 4-6 bottle a day habit had been snatched away. Sugar is my crutch, and it was gone.
She didn’t do it for fun, she didn’t intend to make me cry, she did it because just an hour or so before I had received a call from my doctor informing me of the results of my last blood test… it didn’t make for pleasant hearing.
I’ll elaborate on quite how much damage sugar has done to my body in another post. For now I need to focus on adapting to a sugar-free, smoke free lifestyle.
Despite that phone-call, despite the desperate look on her face as she whisked me around the supermarket filling the trolley with iron-rich foods and supplements, all I could think about was the drinks aisle.
I hadn’t had a bottle of Mountain Dew since breakfast and my mind and body were crying out for a sugar fix.
I don’t know what I’m more ashamed of, the way I reacted or what I have become.
Perhaps I’m ashamed of the fact it’s gone this far before I’ve taken action, I’ve attempted quitting sugar before, and failed within 24 hours.
I have allowed myself to fall into a vicious trap of sugar, processed food and cigarettes and I care too little about myself to do anything about it.
Until yesterday I lived each day swinging from one sugar high to the next. Today I feel exhausted, shaky and edgy. This is all my body has known for more than 10 years.
Can I break the habit this time, before it’s too late?
The truth is, if it was just for me, I couldn’t. But then I look at Mia and Theo’s faces, at the faces of my friends and family, and I know I have too.
Yesterday I realised sugar has taken over my life, today is the first day of a whole new chapter.
I’m hoping that with the support of good friends and family, and websites such as this one, I’ll adjust quickly and embrace life without refined sugar. Wish me luck…