Always, Mummy Tries…

mental health

There’s no right or wrong way to talk to children about emotions, no standard, no rules. I was this way before the children came along, truth be told I don’t know what it’s like to not feel as I do. My children don’t know me any other way, they love me unconditionally, without question or reason.

Sometime’s Mummy is happy, sometimes Mummy is silly, sometime’s Mummy is grumpy, sometime’s Mummy is sad.¬†Sometime’s Mummy doesn’t want to get out of bed, sometime’s Mummy doesn’t want to go out and do things, sometime’s Mummy just wants a blanket and a cuddle.¬†

My mental health does not affect my capability as a mother. My children are happy, sociable and loving. They are kind, they are funny, they are generous. They are everything I hoped they would be and so much more. I haven’t allowed them to be dragged down with the crashing waves that consume my mind. I will not allow it.

Sometime’s Mummy walks, sometime’s Mummy sings, sometime’s Mummy laugh’s until her belly hurts.

Having mental health problems doesn’t mean I can’t, it doesn’t mean I won’t, it just means I struggle. Simple tasks like finding the motivation to do housework, get dressed, put my make up on and do my hair, they aren’t easy. For most they are a molehill, to me they are a mountain. But my kids? They go into school each day in fresh, clean, ironed uniform, with a lunchbox filled to the brim, hair done, teeth clean. They don’t know of the unexplained sadness Mummy feels, they don’t know that it took all my energy to get them to school and nursery, that it took every ounce of willpower I had.

I can’t function at 50%, I can’t let them see my tears, I can’t let them see my struggle. If that mean’s that I get through the day as best I can, get them to bed and let it out, then so be it. On difficult days we stay indoors, do crafts and watch movies. Sometimes in the middle of an ordinary moment, a little hand covers mine, a little arm slips around my neck, a tiny kiss is planted on my cheek. Those moments are powerful, they remind me what it is all about. They give me that extra push I often so desperately need. They have no idea of the strength they have instilled in me.

Despite everything, I will always be the best Mother I can be. For them, I will get better. For them, I will try. For them, I will carry on.

Sometime’s Mummy smiles. Sometime’s Mummy cries. Always, Mummy tries.

motherhood mental health

Quite Frankly She Said Sunday Best
My Petit Canard
3 Little Buttons
Diary of an imperfect mum
Follow:

21 Comments

  1. 11th February 2017 / 4:43 pm

    I loved this post. It’s so true. We can’t always be happy or upbeat. No one is always happy and saying the contrary would be lying. As long as we keep trying, then we’re doing a good job. Motherhood is beautiful, but gosh it’s tough. You’re a wonderful mummy honey. xxx

    • 11th February 2017 / 5:19 pm

      Thankyou lovely – means the world xx

  2. 12th February 2017 / 11:06 am

    You’re doing a better job than me sweetie, I think Beth’s had the same packed lunch for a week, my creative mojo flew out the window! I find the toilet is a good place to have 10mins to myself, hell, even 5! Deep breaths and back into the world. I know you’re down a well at the moment but you’re not alone xxx

  3. Sarah - mud, cakes and wine
    12th February 2017 / 4:13 pm

    Wonderful post and great to put it out. As this needs to be shared xxx #sundaybest

    • 12th February 2017 / 4:24 pm

      Thank you for your kind words x

  4. 13th February 2017 / 8:49 pm

    You’re doing a great job.
    It’s amazing how children know when to give us that little boost.
    #MarvMondays

    • 18th February 2017 / 10:07 pm

      Thank you for your kind comment xx

    • 18th February 2017 / 10:07 pm

      Thank you for your kind comment xx

  5. 15th February 2017 / 8:46 pm

    Lovely post I feel almost the same. I hope I will be the best Mom for my son even if I cry sometimes or I’m stressed and frustrated
    #DreamTeam

    • 18th February 2017 / 10:05 pm

      It’s okay to cry! We all need to let the pressure out a little sometimes. Thank you for your comment xx

  6. 15th February 2017 / 11:42 pm

    This is such a powerful and poignant post – we’re not superwomen, we’re humans and sometimes it’s tough. Keep being honest and keep remembering how awesome you are too. Yvadney x #DreamTeam

    • 18th February 2017 / 10:04 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment! x

  7. 18th February 2017 / 9:12 pm

    Oh Chloe, I just want to give you a massive hug. You are a wonderful mother and we don’t have to be perfect, we just have to do our best. And it’s hard it really is isn’t it. Thank you for sharing with #SundayBest x

    • 18th February 2017 / 9:59 pm

      Hopefully one day we’ll get to meet! Thank you for your comment, you are wonderful too xx

  8. 18th February 2017 / 10:43 pm

    This is an excellent post and, as a mental health sufferer and mother too, one I very much relate to. Well done for writing it. Thanks for joining us at #SundayBest – hope you’ll join us again tomorrow x

    • 19th February 2017 / 5:27 pm

      Thank you for your kind comment – I’ll of course be back!

  9. 20th February 2017 / 9:00 pm

    What a beautifully written post, it actually brought a tear to my eye. No one ever really knows, apart from ourselves, how easy or hard situations are to deal with. It’s so clear that you want the absolute best for your little ones, and you sound like a real fighter who is not willing to let mental health get in the way. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam – a star post xx

    • 20th February 2017 / 9:41 pm

      Thankyou Annette – means the world x

  10. 23rd February 2017 / 4:25 pm

    A very relatable post, very honest too, I applaud both your honesty and talent in putting into a post xx #ablogginggoodtime

    • 23rd February 2017 / 5:00 pm

      Thank you for your kind comment xx

  11. 1st March 2017 / 10:38 am

    I felt so guilty the first time i cried in front of my daughter but we cannot be happy all the time and actually it is good to express our feelings and show them its okay not to be happy so they feel they can do this too!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *